You’ve seen them out and about. Viagra Triangle at night. Mag Mile by day. Sometimes they even mistakenly wander into The Crotch, where the hipsters look at them like they’re from another planet. They are. The planet Skankcoon.
Photographic evidence of their existence:
So, now that you’ve seen them, you can see there are a few salient characteristics:
Bad hair and/or extensions
Questionable back-alley boob jobs. Many display the “refund gap”.
Fake tan. From a bed or a bottle, orange is the way to be if you’re a skankcoon.
The entire contents of the MAC store on their face at once.
Stay Tuned…More Skankcoonery To Come!
Since when did being orange become equated with being sexy? …And, these ladies aren’t even orange, they’re some shade of burnt oak or that color you get right after a bad sunburn.
It sure is a pleasure to bask in their glow while riding the redline… thankfully they only use the redline out of novelty or when daddy refuses to pay for parking that week.
Thank you for making this blog, it brings some much needed attention to this frightening epidemic.
Do you think maybe they’re suffering from a psychological disorder where they honestly believe that they are supposed to be this color and that it looks good? Next thing you know the DSM-IV-TR will being listing it: Hyper-orange body dysphoria or Munchausen Melanoma Syndrome (…the bride’s maids could be considered by Proxy if the bride is mandating their tanning)
I can’t wait for more; these bitches scare me.